Congratulations: You’ve Won a Holiday!
“Life is a holiday,” Kevser said, looking directly into my eyes as she always does. “This is a vacation spot. Why not enjoy it?”
I froze. I was tormenting myself, inflicting a punishment worse than the harshest dictator could devise. I had turned life into a prison, all while searching for happiness in the darkness I had created. I’d glimpsed happiness before, knew it lived somewhere within me, and recognized it as the only real truth in life. But there was a wall—a barrier that kept me from reaching that truth.
When I heard her words, something clicked. The rules I’d lived by—the ones I thought were essential for survival—were actually keeping me from enjoying life. They felt like commandments carved in stone, unyielding and absolute. Even when they didn’t suit me, the circumstances, or my growth, I adhered to them rigidly. The result? A life weighed down by “musts.”
“I must take a shower.”
“I must sleep even if I’m not tired.”
“I must clean the house.”
Must, must, must…
But the truth is, no one must do anything. That sense of obligation stems from a fear of what might happen if we don’t comply—a fear of failure, blame, or chaos. Beneath it lies an unwillingness to own our choices and the responsibility for our lives. The greatest injustice we do to ourselves is this: we deem ourselves unworthy of truly living.
Not long after, I saw this more clearly during a conversation with a friend. “We just have to endure,” she said, insisting on her point. But endure what? Our own choices? Were we punishing ourselves, serving penance for decisions we made? The tone of her words implied that someone else was forcing these choices upon her, as if she’d find happiness if only “they” would allow it. But who is they? What is they?
Nothing holds us back except ourselves. Society, family traditions, politics—these are just excuses. As long as we avoid taking full responsibility for our lives, we’ll hide behind these excuses and miss the bigger picture. Instead of embracing life and all its possibilities, we distract ourselves with the trivial and the fleeting. And when we finally look back, we see the opportunities we’ve missed—after the moment has passed.
Life is like a video game. At the start, we know the goal but not the rules. We rely on what we’re given—basic survival skills taught by family, culture, and circumstances. But as the game progresses, the rules that once served us become outdated. If we cling to them, we get stuck in one level, unable to advance. Frustration grows, and we eventually quit the game. This is what it means to die while still alive: to ignore our growth and strength, holding on to outdated patterns as if we were still children.
Cooking because you have to vs. cooking because you’re hungry.
Marrying because you must vs. choosing a partner to share joy and laughter.
Working because you should vs. working to achieve your dreams.
Real strength lies in embracing your choices and their outcomes with love. It’s about taking responsibility for your life, not hiding behind blame or excuses. It’s about standing tall, cherishing your happiness, and living with intention.
In the studio, things break. Plans fall apart. Sometimes, even at the very last step, a piece shatters. But there are no excuses here. We pause, we fix, and we start again—with love. Not because we have to, but because we choose to.
Life, like the studio, is a workshop—a place of creation and transformation, free from the shackles of others’ expectations. It’s a place of joy, love, and freedom. It’s a holiday. So, why not enjoy it?